Just for you, Take a look at me Now...be your Love, Nothing Better.

Long ago before we actually knew...

A baby girl I was born and a young lady I am now, it took so little yet so long to notice who I was to whom am I.

A baby girl I was, the baby girl I continue to be, is and only is the one you truly know...

And to think it all started by a single gift from you, one we both didn't care and know what it was, but I kept.

Nine years of a difference, and I was just a baby girl. To hold and keep warm, to look at and care for, little did you know that that baby girl is now little old me...Esme.

At that time and moment at your ninth birthday, I was just but 10 months of age and you on your 'lucky' day gave a gift, as tiny as it was, it was a gift a baby girl like myself could grow to love (to a certain age).

A teether for crying out loud! But, not just any teether. A cute yellow owl of a teether, so vintage! (:

Coming across this old object of a gift just made me think so deeply of how much we've grown to know one another all this time. It's been 20 years! 20 years! I had a quiet moment to myself looking at this teether saying to myself, that that little girl you once knew is not the same little baby. Sure you call me "My (your) sweet little girl" which doesn't bother anyone, makes perfect sense to me and yourself...but, I'm not that little child anymore.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I was a little girl alone in my little world who dreamed of a little home for me. I played pretend between the trees and fed my house guests bark and leaves, and laughed in my pretty bed of green.
I had a dream that I could fly from the highest swing, I had a dream.
Long walks in the dark through woods grown behind the park, I asked who I'm supposed to be. The stars smiled down at me, answered in silent reverie, I said a prayer and fell asleep.
I had a dream that I could fly from the highest tree, I had a dream.
I don't know what's left to say about this life I'm willing to leave. I lived it full, I lived it well...
I'm ready now to fly from the highest swing, I had a dream.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Of course, I know and you know that...we both know that it's time. I'm ready for everything that willing to cross my path. No matter how awful, great, scary, hard, unexpected, thrilling, etc. it could and will possibly be. This is a reminder of your symbol to owls..."The bold owl sits in its hollow tree wailing at the lonely moon until he's no longer the lonely moon who sits for the wailing caused him to glide and with such beautiful perfectionist eyes seeks his pray, but of what? His lovely lone owl self to come keep him company in his hollow tree and it no longer is the bold owl, but the wise owl with his owlet to love and care for wailing together...bold and strong in the hollow tree."

Such a long saying like your crazy ramblings of such weird knowledge of yours...but this makes perfect sense if you think about it and think about owls alone and compare them to your human behavior...hmm.

I'll always ask myself, was there a meaning of you giving me that silly old vintage yellow owl teether? A symbol and actual meaning behind it?

The answer will reveal itself soon enough...come on, it's only a ramble away...

So who's the owl and who's the owlet between you and I?



An owl can see him slash her-self and see their match of true long lasting love.



Get your Chia Pet NOW!

At Target taken by Chrisy with her Phone
-It just caught our eyes and Josh came to my mind-
*Giggles and smiles* ^^

Okay, for starters you should all know that I don't watch television.
So a few nights ago I was talking to Josh, like every night, and we had this random conversation about "Chia Pets" This came about because I made the comment of watching television that afternoon and seeing the commercial of the new Obama chia pet stating: "Those things still exist!" He laughed and said "Ch-Ch-Cha-Chia!" We both giggled and out of nowhere he starts telling me like the history of the whole Chia Pet company. Which I thought was very weird slash random slash funny and slash cute for him to know such information like that. And for some odd reason there are still a bunch of Americans willing to buy such product, enough to keep the Chia Pet business going since the 70's
Which brought another topic from I guess the same producer...the pet rock?!?! Yeah, it was nice and very random conversation with Josh that night and seeing this shirt just made me think and remember such thing. Another memory with him that brings a huge smile to my face. Lovely fellow I have here, sharing non-sense with each other, that always makes our talks enjoyable (:


So, to all you people who have a Chia Pet or who have bought a Chia Pet in the past...WHY?!


^_^

Heart Left in San Francisco...

So the trip started on Thursday night heading toward Fresno which was alright and finally onward toward good old San Francisco!! Of course, spent every moment enjoying the great city and its beautiful weather waiting for me to explore its outer skin and eventually sink into its depths. Eventually having to come back to my now new reality was harder then I thought, I did manage to make a stop by Santa Cruz. What a lovely time spent in the mist of my home edges. (:

Very first photo when I got to my old apartment in San Francisco. (:



Bay Bridge ;p



Lovely photo, is it not? (:

*Smiles*



Me, Myself, and the city beyond this...




Random model that made me think of a friend, Michael, at the moment.




Boubin Sourdough Bakery & Cafe, lovely workers being all nice. (:



Want a ride anyone? I'll take you for a grand spin! :D



Cute Little Orange Beetle! ;p




My Chucks, walking along Lombard (:




Hope you enjoyed the little bit of photos, I've shared. It's impossible to share every single one, but might update a few other photos from this same trip soon enough....

Lonely Girl Full of Tiny Whorls

Tiny whorls nowadays are rather deadly for myself and those close/near me, I believe. Lately I've had my fair share also knowing that one particular person as well, if they haven't caused it on themselves. Far beyond dead is what you shall be if you let these tiny whorls take over your ability of overcoming the strangest most difficult temptations and emotions. Leaving you in the end with nothing, leaving you in the end with no one, leaving you like the complete loner you truly are in the world.

~*~*~*~*~

Alone in a room with shadows staring at the wall
Gotta shade my eyes for a moment try and understand it all
Disapear I'm just a ghost left over from another day
Lost in thoughts with a lonely girl
Never find out another way
Where are you
Lonely girl
Where are you
Not in my world
Every day in total darkness, every day is hell
Every day is black as night, no one left to tell
Disappear I'm just a ghost left over from another day
Lost in thoughts of a lonely girl
She went out another way
Where are you
Lonely girl
Where are you
Not in my world
Left me lonely

Boots, Sorry itsn't Enough...

Today I have realized something, now that I have felt how it feels I am truly sorry for what I have done and caused. You didn't deserve what I did to you nor what I'm trying to do. A sorry isn't enough I know that, but you must know that I am truly and honestly sorry from the bottom of my heart. Before I wasn't thinking, I'm still not thinking, at least the way I should be. I left you out in the cold after everything we have built up. Yet you were still there for me, I left and gave up on you for something that led me nowhere then downfall. Boots, I know you will find it from the bottom of your heart to see eye to eye with me and fix the hurt and pain I have caused and we share. I swear upon everything that I meant no harm and I had no idea how you felt and were going through. Rub it in my face you shall, keeping me against it you shall...I always learn the hard way, but at least I can finally now say that my lesson was learned and I now promise myself that I won't fall into the same hole. I won't make the same mistake, I'm beginning to regret this little moment of my life, but regret not, never. Yet you as a great person you are, where there for me after everything I did. I didn't deserve it and still don't.
So I'll end this with a quote...

"The only people you need in your life are the ones that prove they need you in theirs."

Different happiness?

It's common for people to say what makes them happy, what gives them the reason to smile, what makes them nervous or shy, and what makes them turn red...

I haven't felt this way in a while...

I've forgotten how different it can make you feel other then happiness, it makes you feel giggly, warm, and wanted for once...no matter how embarrassed you get.

(:



>_<



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